That last post was a little harsh.  Anyway.  This is what’s really been happening:

On Thursday, I rode the subway all the way through Brooklyn, to the AirTrain, straight to the ever-festive, newly remodeled Terminal 5 at JFK.  I fly in and out of this terminal quite often, as I’m building JetBlue points for free trips to such charmingly demure locales as Bogota, Colombia soon.  Nonetheless, it never ceases to amaze me.  This place makes me feel like Schaumburg, Illinois took a Woodfield Mall-sized dump on Queens and JetBlue decided to jump on the shitstorm that ensued and open shop.  What results is an airport terminal complete with fountains, skylights, plants, a LaCoste store, numerous places to get drunk and eat Buffalo wings, and a food court:

A quick vid of Terminal 5:

Upon boarding the plane, I realized that I was flying during a recession.  Thank you, JetBlue, you do have the most legroom in the sky.

Being from the Midwest, I’m used to only seeing flat land and maybe the city of Chicago when I take off.  I always think the coast as we lift off from JFK is fascinating.  Check the video of take-off and the first few minutes of flight.

After only a few minutes, we flew over what must have been the North Bronx, as I was given a spectacular view of Manhattan Island from the North:

An uneventful flight involving numerous episodes of Scrubs (thank you JetBlue cable TV), The Watchmen book, and many awkward eyes from a girl with a pixie-cut who went to the bathroom 3 times put me down at O’Hare International on schedule.  The pleasantry was short-lived, however, as I experienced the true frigidity of Chicago: a stiff 20 degree drop from the weather in Brooklyn and me without a heavy coat.

Fortunately, upon a airport-retrieval that George Costanza would have been proud of by my Dad, I was soon warm again and got to meet our new dog, Harry.  I, of course, did what anyone in my CuteOverload.com-obsessed generation would do: pulled out my digital camera and took copious amounts of pictures and videos.

Aaaannnnd video of Harry playing.  He rules.

After the obligatory family time, I made my way downtown via El Dad-o’s Miata in order to meet up with the ever-elusive Jerome (fellow whiskey and Miata afficionado… and the king of dressing like a 1960′s British professor).  He typically refuses pictures, but I couldn’t resist documenting him sitting alone in a club drinking whiskey:

The next morning, I sat and contemplated the reasons that I didn’t mind coming home to the suburbs once in a while.  Was it the home-cooked meals?  The reassurance straight from my parents’ mouths that I was doing okay?  The connection with where I spent all of my formative years?  The idyllic household with a backyard that opens to a park and field where children and pets run wild and free?  No.  It was none of these.  What truly filled me with joy was drinking coffee out of my Wolverine mug.  Don’t screw with Logan:

Friday evening handed me two options: stay in and do homework or head to Chicago to hang out with my friend who is starting up a club in Miami and various other derelicts.  I think we know which option I picked.

The derelict entourage, L to R: Jenny “CatNaps” Lee, Dan “Twilight” Atteo, Juan “Miami Vice” Herrera, and Jay “Dark Lord of the Sith” Patch.

After numerous free Colt 45′s at a space-club (Sonotheque) and a photo shoot that should be up on EveryoneIsFamous.com soon, we moved on to Hub51.  Normally, I wouldn’t get caught dead at an establishment so full of baseball caps, popped collars, and Lincoln Park trust fund kids, but Juan had promised all star treatment.

He delivered.  After driving up in his BMW, we immediately got the car valet’d and skipped the line of over 100 bros yelling about how they shouldn’t let the kids in tight pants and scarves in.  After a brief conversation with the doorman, Juan led the way  in and downstairs, where only a few moments later a bottle of Gray Goose showed up.  Things get blurry from here, but please note that at one point the Dark Lord fell asleep sitting up.  After these pictures were taken, we ended the evening at our usual establishment, where all the classy kids hang out: The Flat Iron.  There’s a reason there are no pictures from here.

The crowd at Hub 51:

The Goose got us loose:

Jay got a little too loose:

As a much needed change of pace, I went to my cousin’s wedding (what I actually came to Chicago for).  The occasion was appropriately elegant and over the top.  While I enjoyed that the service and reception were in the same room (allowing for a minimum of time in between nuptials and the open bar/dinner), the service was ridden with enough anti-feminist innuendo to choke even the most moderate of liberals.  Vows to “serve the man” and scripture readings that may as well have included the word “subservient” put a damper on my (and my date’s) good mood.  Commence witholding of vomit, dinner, and awkward drinks.

In all honesty, I don’t care, though.  Whatever makes you happy, who am I to say?  I still can’t help but think that they set women back about 50 years, but who really cares about the elimination of double standards and civil rights?  (It is at this point that I pray readers are attuned to my sense of sarcasm.)

Anyway, they seem happy.  How can you not be happy when you’ve got a bowl of ice cream that big with sparklers sticking out of it?  Amazing.

This morning, my mom took it upon herself to document how roughed-up I looked post-wedding.  Thanks, Mom.

Which brings us up to now.  We just got done handling my medical bills (phew) and later tonight I’ll head downtown to meet up with people that I’ve been working with remotely for the past year and have never met.  Hello, awkward HeaveMedia kids!

I head back to Brooklyn at 4 pm tomorrow, where I look forward to being in quiet solitude on the plane, hopefully getting picked up by my roommates, riding my bike as fast as possible, eating copious amounts of bagels and coffee, and gazing at the always-inspiring and Hepatitis-giving East River.

On Friday, I fly to Las Vegas in what is possibly one of the most irresponsible trips I’ve ever taken: planned less than 2 weeks ago on a limited budget with a person whom I’ve never traveled with before.  We’re gonna tear Vegas up.  If you hear about someone getting kicked out of the Luxor hotel for making hand puppets on that giant light on top of the pyramid, look for me in the Nevada detention system.

Until then, hope you’re all as well as life has been lately.  Which is really damn well.