These are not friends.
This is not life beaming at me from smiles
And rhythmic shuffling feet.
The sweat and lust and pulse
Of a hundred looks of approval
Hands nodding, swallowing the scene in the dark.
My tie is too tight.

Four years and a thousand introductions
Four years and a thousand open-mouthed embraces.
As many circular screamed arguments.
As many nights awake
waiting for this
bed to devour me.
As many times as I second-guessed tonight.
My tie is too tight.

Fingers fumble for a flask
Feet lose footing, try to keep a beat
Eyes evade a hundred stares of
Dizzied friends with
Perfect tits
Perfect dicks.
My tie is too tight.